Missed another day - so I am an every other day blogger,  Oh well.

Watching the afterglow of the election.  I need to call Jeanne George.

I am SO GLAD the elections are over.  I can not begin to express my exhaustion not to mention sheer fear that someone who thinks the female body can shut down for rape so no babies will be born to a raped mother or how GOD wanted that woman to bear a child by that psychopath...not to mention one candidate wanted to outlaw all birth control.

And, the icing on the cake was a noonoo brain saying how the new senate was a reflection of changing demographics.  Lemme see, 20% of the 100 seats are going to women and women demographically are 51% of the population?

Really?  You think this is a HUGE leap for women?  Really?  We still don't earn what a man earns for doing the same work.

Sheesh...

I lived in fear my granddaughter would be fighting the same fights over and over and over again.  I will never see equality for women in my lifetime.

Missed another day

November 8 is the anniversary of my father's death.

Hard time of year.

I went to the dentist today.  We talked about all sorts of things.  He loves France where he has a second home he rents out for most of the year.  Sounds delightful.  If my ship ever comes in, I shall definitely go to France to see Paris through his eyes.

Meanwhile, my teeth - give the choice between walking or teeth - as in I have to give up one of them, I chose keep my teeth only to degenerate faster.  So I chose walking.

Walking was so difficult, the staff at MOMs had someone escort me out to the car.  I was so glad.  I had been working up my courage to ask them to walk me out.  My dentist stands at the door to watch me get up the stairs to his office then watches me when I leave.

Plummeting down the degeneration trail.

sigh

Interesting

Somehow I missed a day.  Sunday to Tuesday.  Wow...

Today is the day most people vote.  I voted as soon as I got my absentee ballot.  The results are coming in and we'll see how things go.

I don't get why people don't want to pay taxes.  Where do they think roads come from?  How about Health departments?  Who pays the salaries at the FDA?  When you think what our taxes buy?

Anybody in the US of A can get an education.  Now, granted, we have absolutely obscene drop out rates but getting a high school diploma means something.

Government is a pain in the poobah.  I agree.  The "cop shop" costs $$ and their slogan is "protect and serve."  Do they get paid enough to risk their lives on a regular basis?  Probably not.  But I don't want to cut their salaries to zippo so my taxes go down.  How about the fire department.  I HATE burns.  Burns are a lousy injury.  So the fire department...would I want to cut my taxes and do away with the fire department?  NO way!!  How about the jerks who enforce parking?  I have handicapped plates and I think I ought to be baking those "jerks" cookies because I can barely walk these day.  (Just chaps me raw because I love walking.  Who'd have thought so much that gives me pleasure would be taken from me and I am still alive.

My taxes...Hey, USA...you are welcome to my fair share.

So, I can no longer talk about what I will do when I grow up

How do I know I am no longer growing up?  I am growing down these days.  On a count down.  I have been most fortunate to live the years I have lived.  

When I was in the hospital in Silver City, the doctor told me I wasn't taking my eminent death seriously enough.  He full well expected me to die that night.

I was amused.  I thought, but didn't say aloud as the doctor was obviously quite concerned "if I wake up dead in the morning, I'll be very shocked."  Then I got the giggles as I thought about how many people had, no doubt, started the day like any day only to "wake up dead."  The doctor stared at me like I had just gone mad - and, I suppose, he was right to do so.

As the ICU nurse got me ready for the night, I thought about all I could or should do.  Should I call my family and tell them I might not make it?  I couldn't imagine that conversation.  My children?  My mother or brother?  Extended family gathered through love?

You know you are a grown up when, faced with the knowledge you might die within the next minute, hour but certainly not much longer and who are you going to call?  To decide to die with strangers around you rather than bother your children is a leap.

As soon as the sun rose, I was transferred to the hospital in Las Cruces.  The small plane was dreadful and strapped to the walls, I felt every joggle and jostle.  The nurse kept saying "stay with me, Mz Drew, stay with me."  I passed out on the plane and woke briefly when I was transferred to the ambulance.

When I next awoke, I was parked on a gurney outside the morgue.  

I lay there, unable to focus my eyes but there was this blue green thing in the cot with me.  I wracked my brain trying to figure out what was on the cot.  Not clothes.  Not shoes as my shoes had disappeared.  I had nothing but what was on me when I checked into the hospital.  Anyway, I finally got my eyes to focus and I realized it was my arm.  I was so surprised, I took a deep breath and the ugly blue green sort of dawned into a beautiful rosy pink.  

I was so cold with only a sheet over me.  I lay there looking at the morgue doors and fading in and out.  It seemed like forever before someone came to fetch the gurney.

Growing down (cont.)

For instance, my car gets its tags and insurance.  I spent Saturday to Friday paying bills and trying to do all the chores that must be done.  My "do before the end of the month" pile has shrunk from roughly 1+ foot of sliding papers and miscellaneous bits and pieces.  The governments - federal, state and local - are mostly satisfied.  The bills are paid.  The "submit for refund" items are "in the mail."  Cat food has been ordered;  The bits and pieces are sorted.  The Man is handled for another month in some instances and for another six months in others and for another two years in still others.

I still haven't gotten to "growing down" instead of "growing up."  This blogging is more complicated than I realized/

Growing down

I married because I wanted children.  I stayed married far too long because "you have to do what is best for the children" - an argument that strongly suggests everyone else comes first in your life and your needs are peripheral.  Children and their needs are compelling reasons to do that which you'd rather not - work at the best job you can get even if that job gives you no pleasure.  It took me several years to decide that even if I could endure the relationship  the marriage based on trust and respect had long since departed for more fertile grounds.  I divorced because I would never want my children to live with the compromises I was making.

Single parenting requires different skills. When things go bump in the night, who are you going to call?  Everything is done by the single parent.  All the necessities for raising children:  food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, education, clothing - the whole ball of wax,  the whole skein of yarn,  The entire enchilada -every vacation, every sick day, every shopping trip, every dish filled, empties and washed...  You have to learn how to cope.  A friend gave me the "keeping the man out of your life" lecture and I have passed on her good advice over the years.  

There are things that can bring the family crashing down.  To shore up the family, you must take care of business first.  It may be the most difficult thing you do but keeping the man at bay must be put first.  However you organize that part of you life, the bills must be paid in a timely manner, important appointments must be kept and you must make every attempt to avoid out-of-your-control events.  The man is the personification of something else 

To ripple or not to ripple

My beautiful daughter Kelly, who seems to have the knack of getting people enthused about things, and my talented granddaughter Thea, are participating in NaBloPoMo.  I've never had the  urge to participate but I have always enjoyed reading the blogs of those I love.

I think I shall try a stealth approach and quietly sign up for NaBloPoMo and if I fail to post daily, I shall slip away into oblivion - a drop without ripples.

So...to ripple or not to ripple...